Tips For Arguing With Women
Apr 5, 2010 | Posted by bryan | 0 Comments
Your dad might have told you, “Son, don’t ever argue with a woman.” Well, that’s nice advice, Dad, but it hardly ever works out that way in real life. What you have to remember is that men and women are different animals at the emotional level, and women argue differently than men do. You have to be able to anticipate, to react, and to retreat when necessary. But more than anything else, you have to be able to keep a clear head. Here are some things you need to remember:
• Fight fair. Even if she’s not, you need to take and hold the high ground. Keep things centered on the problem at hand, and don’t start dredging things up from the past. It’ll make it seem like you’re keeping score, and if it’s fair for you to keep score, you can bet that she will too. Even if she throws things from your past back at you, don’t respond in kind.
• Don’t yell. Nobody wins an argument by yelling. Your tone can convey how serious you are without having to raise your voice.
• Don’t call her names. Name-calling is way out of bounds. It brings things down to a juvenile sort of level, and you better believe that if you call her something offensive she is not going to forget about it.
• Don’t patronize. You shouldn’t patronize anybody, really, but particularly the woman you’re involved with. It’s insulting and it’s guaranteed to escalate her anger and resentment.
• Know when to back off. There are times when you are just not going to win. You need to know when to say when and tell her, “Honey, I’m afraid this is going to damage our relationship.” Walk away. In the short run, it might make her even madder, but it may also be just what you need to do to impose some damage control.
• Know when to admit you’re wrong. This is different from the above. Hear her out and try to see things from her angle. This kind of detachment is where it’s very important to be able to keep a clear head. If she’s right and you know it, admit it. Tell her you’re sorry and you’ll try to work on that problem area.
• Be honest. If you lie to her, chances are she’s going to know it from your tone, your eyes and your body language. If you lie to her and she doesn’t know it until later, be ready for Chapter II of the fight you had, except it’s going to be the much-worse sequel. And besides…what kind of relationship are you going to set up by lying to her?
• Let her vent before you take up the argument. Lots of times, women (and men) just need to put the cards on the table, and you need to listen. That can be half the argument just by itself. Know when to NOT talk and to do the listening, and pay attention to what she’s saying! Don’t be thinking about football or what you’re going to say next while she’s spilling the beans to you.