How To Ask A Coworker Out
Mar 19, 2010 | Posted by bryan | 0 Comments
The Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating At Work
Just because there’s a hottie working down the hall from you doesn’t mean you’re destined for an office hookup, but there can be definite perks to asking out a coworker. There are also a lot of things that can go wrong if you miscalculate the situation. So how do you ask a coworker out? There are a whole lot more wrong ways to do this than there are right ones, so let’s talk about the right ways first:
· Does she like you? Seems like a no-brainer, but a lot of guys don’t even take it into account. Does she come over to your cubicle to chat? Does she think you’re funny or interesting? Has she ever acted receptive to lunch or happy hour? If not, forget it and move on. Don’t misinterpret normal workplace camaraderie for flirtation.
· Is she your boss? If so, tread very carefully. You’re stepping into a minefield. You’re probably better off not even going there in the first place.
· Does she like the same things you do? Think about that if you’re going to ask her out. If she likes romantic comedies, don’t ask her to go to see an action movie. If she likes football, don’t ask her to go with you to a hockey match. If she doesn’t like sports, don’t ask her to go to either one.
· Keep it casual! Just like any other dating situation, no woman likes a guy who comes on too strong, too early. Joke around with her, make her feel at ease with you, make her laugh. That’s why lunch or happy hour might be a good first step towards at least feeling things out to see what might be possible. But be smart — don’t even hint at asking her out in front of any coworkers.
NOW, THE POTENTIAL PITFALLS!!
· Do NOT use company email to talk about dating-related stuff. If your emails are monitored and you are audited, you could both be written up or, worse, fired. Lots of companies have very specific issues with this in the company handbook. Even if it’s not expressly forbidden, be smart… DON’T.
· The same thing applies for phones and voicemail. Don’t set yourself up for trouble.
· Check your company handbook or HR policies for dating issues. Some companies do not allow it regardless of the circumstances, and in any case, boss/subordinate dating relationships are usually off-limits.
· If you press the issue or misinterpret “signals” from her, you can be fired, written up or sued for sexual harassment. That’s the business climate, circa 2010.
· Be prepared for gossip, rumors and backstabbing from envious coworkers. This falls under the category of “that’s just how people are.” Even if you were friends before, things can start heading this way if there’s a whiff of a dating/ relationship in the air.
· Keep things strictly G-rated and on the up-and-up while at work. If you have to, keep it secret (which can make things a little more interesting anyway). It’s for your own good.
· If she’s not receptive to going out with you, let it drop and move on. Keep things strictly on a business-related, professional level from that point on. It’s not worth it, for the sake of your job, your friendships and your sanity.